Day 20: Mind the Pause

There is a chapter in Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bebe about waiting a minute before reacting to our kiddos. Druckerman suggests this wait time gives kids an opportunity to develop patience and gives parents the opportunity to live their lives. Her advice is geared towards those with older children, who have the mental faculties to develop things like patience, but there is still value in this nugget of wisdom for us newborn mothers.

After all, the Pause is also a crucial mindfulness practice. Instead of reacting to any stimuli in our world, it encourages us to wait a beat and see if we can gather more information— from the stimuli or ourselves— before responding. In this way, we respond more intentionally, and more skillfully, to whatever arises.

I have been in the habit of grabbing my bebe from the bassinet the second I hear her start to squirm, in an attempt to circumvent an all-out scream. But last night, I waited a moment before grabbing my fussy child from her bassinet. And the craziest thing happened. She let out a cry, stuck her fist in her mouth, and went right back to sleep. And so did I.