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Day 24: Beware the Comparing Mind

  • ericabethmarcus
  • Oct 20, 2017
  • 2 min read

I have had the privilege of attending a weekly newborn and mom class. We have quickly built some incredible relationships, bonding over shared struggles with the endlessly serpentine Moby wrap and countless hours spent bouncing up and down on the yoga ball. These common experiences are incredibly powerful, akin to what I imagine Navy Seals might feel at the end of a grueling training. We are one. The flip side of noticing our commonalities is noticing differences and judging them. The first week, when we went around and talked about what was hard, I got a little prideful kick out of being able to report that my baby was fairly relaxed and consolable at week two. Just one week later, I was sighing with envy as a mom talked about how her baby had just turned a corner and was now chill; as she spoke, my babe was getting worked up for another round of her now regular screaming sessions. This tendency, to notice those differences, and either get a positive or negative jolt from those observations, can ultimately create suffering for ourselves. We see ourselves as separate, either privately gloating over our baby's superior behavior, or jealously looking on at another baby's advancement. In this way, we draw a line in the sand between ourselves and those moms, our allies, and lose touch with that feeling of connection. It is nearly impossible to rid ourselves of these snap second reactions, but we can avoid clinging to them when we notice them arise. We can practice letting them go. In that way, we draw ourselves closer towards one another. We allow for the natural development of our child, not as a point of pride or embarrassment, but just as it is. We free ourselves, just a little, from our own suffering.


 
 
 

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