Day 26: Welcome and Entertain Them All.

I just read a post by a mom "confessing" in a Facebook group that she didn't really like the newborn stage. Clearly wrapped up in that post were feelings of guilt and inadequacy...for not enjoying this "magical" time that everyone says, “you should enjoy every minute of." and "Isn't it SO special?" It's special, all right... eSPECIALly difficult. The exhaustive list of mamas agreeing with her showed she wasn't alone. For myself, I can say I like some of it, and dislike other parts of it. But all of that, liking and not liking, is okay. I don't have to pretend I like when she screams and fusses for hours at night. Why the hell would l like that? I don't like getting poop on my hands when I'm changing her for the third time in an hour. I don't like the exhaustion that hangs from my body like a sandbag after she eats all night. I don’t enjoy her frustration when my let down is too fast. Mindfulness asks us to see everything just as it is, including our thoughts. Sometimes we like these experiences, and sometimes we don't. Can we simply notice that without the extra burden of feeling like we SHOULD enjoy every minute, as everyone likes to tell us once they are no longer in that phase? I'll accept it all. I'll appreciate it all as part of raising a child. But no, I won't "enjoy every minute of it", and that's okay with me. We can build this acceptance of our own emotions by actively inviting them in. Whatever it is that arises, rather than piling guilt on top of our feelings, we can just welcome it. Yeah, I don't like this. And that's cool.

As Rumi says,

This Being Human is a Guest House

Every Morning a New Arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!