Day 47: Locate Your Partner

After seven weeks of being wrapped up in Babyland, I was ready to relocate my most significant relationships as separate from the child. Since she was born, much of my conversation with my husband revolved around when she pooped, the color of her poop, how long she napped for, that cute thing she did, etc. This felt reasonable and appropriate for this phase of our lives, as we were doing something we were complete novices at, and it is quite hard, it turns out.

But after a month and a half, it was time to return to one another as beings separate from our relationship to our kiddo, with our own needs and wants. We managed to escape together for a dinner date, and after a few false checks of the baby mirror, and comments about how strange it all was, we fell back into our familiar patterns. We laughed, we talked about interesting new articles we had read recently, we checked in about how this experience was going for each other.

Humans are relational beings, and we want to be mindful of nourishing those most important relationships so that they continue to thrive. As a mentor of mine once put it when speaking of her relationship with her husband, "There are times in our lives when we are just riding on our savings in the bank. We are not putting anything away, but we are coasting. And then there are times when we are making deposits." After getting by on our metaphorical savings, it was time to reinvest.

If you can swing it, get out without the baby. If you can't, stay up later than their bedtime and snuggle and remember one another. Or use a nap time to sip tea and talk about yourselves.

Reinvest so that you can be strong together, for yourselves and your baby.