Day 60: Watch the narrative

There are days when this baby is just so grumpy she can only be soothed bouncing on the yoga ball for what seems like hours, my half eaten lunch still on the table teasing me.

It is at times like this that I find myself unconsciously repeating some variation of the phrase, “Please stop. Please someone make it stop. Oh my god, why won’t it stop?”

When I catch myself spinning out like this, my first step is self compassion. “Okay, this is hard right now. I see you. That's okay.”

Follow

ed by some deep breaths. Always the breathing brings us back to ourselves, out of the tailspin, and back to the present.

My second step is to consider what it would sound like in my head if I could access my deep compassion for this child. It's there, it is just a bit clouded by the murkiness of frustration and exhaustion. Sometimes even choosing different words in my head, even if I have yet to access the true feeling, can help move me back towards empathy.

"Dear one, I see you struggling right now. Know that I love you. Know that I believe in you. Know that this too shall pass."

In shifting the narrative, I can again find the love.