Day 57: The Magic of Night Feeding

For me, darkness has always been synonymous with sleep. While there are some who have always been night owls, enjoying late nights bent in creative pursuit, or television viewing, or consuming adult beverages with friends, I have been hitting snooze at 10:00pm (at the latest) even through my college years.

During my pregnancy, the prospect of wakefulness at night, a time that was meant for one thing, and one thing only, horrified me. And in the beginning, when I was feeding every 2-3 hours, it was quite a challenging period. I would find myself dreading a look over the clock (not even midnight yet???) praying only that the night would end, and I could justify being awake with the sun.

But now that the feedings have become less frequent, a magical quality has befallen these night wakings. There is such a deep hush at night, when the world around us comes to a standstill. It is a time of serenity, of relaxation, of contemplation, when the world is asking nothing of us. In fact, there is evidence that people actually used to split the night into first and second sleep, using that time in between hours on quiet pursuits, like reading, sewing, and pondering their dreams.

Though I still sometimes find myself angsty in the first moments of shifting into position for our night feedings, I also have started to tap into the peace of this time of day. I notice the relaxation in my body that comes from hours at rest. I enjoy the foggy-headed feeling when nothing is required of me but to hold my baby in my arms and nourish her. I listen to her appreciative gulps and sighs. I feel her warmth and weight against my chest.

I invite you to savor your night feedings, bringing you full attention to the sweetness and stillness that exists only in the darkness.