Day 69: Bring the Joy

I have presented at a conference for the last few years with a woman whose tagline is “relentles

s positivity.” She encourages people to put in the effort for happiness, to bring it all the time, especially when working with children.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this because it really put a bee in my bonnet (I can be a bit of a curmudgeon, at times) What if I am not feeling particularly positive? What about authenticity, and bringing your true self to others? I don’t want to pretend like everything’s okay if it’s not.

But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think I misunderstood her intent. It’s not about faking it. It’s about doing the work so the positivity IS authentic. Furthermore, I would like to believe that are most authentic selves are full of love, and it is often our frustrations and worries that cloud this warm-heartedness. So I take it back. I’m in.

At the beginning of many of Tara Brach’s meditations, she invites us to turn up the corners of our lips, and even imagine a smile filling all the sky. This subtle cue reminds our bodies to tap into a joy that is naturally there.

When I’m feeling tired or dispirited, I try to remember this. Sometimes, the joy needs a little help in emerging. Just by cueing our bodies, with a subtle smile, a silly dance, a funny face at our babies, we can dig that joy out from under a pile of grump.

Because our babies attune to our nervous systems, they are not so easily fooled by our attempts to fake it. So finding that authentic joy is key. Only then can we bring it.