Day 76: My Sensitive Soul

If you read Tracy Hogg’s “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer” book, you can take a quiz to

determine your baby’s temperament. My little love fell squarely into the “touchy” category. I was on a kick for a while of referring to her as grumpy. She seems to be upset and whine a lot, making me think of a crotchety old man in his rocking chair calling out angrily at folks passing by. When I called her this in conversation with a friend one time, she reframed it as “spirited.” To me, this was just a euphemism for grumpy, and I always used it with quotation marks when describing her to others, with a knowing smile. Touchy...grumpy...spirited... It was always my intention to be teasing in these references, not malicious.

But one day, after one of my mom friends had been holding her, she turned to me and said, “She’s just so sweet.” I felt my body soften. She IS sweet. And later, as I was chatting with some other moms about her struggles, I called her a “sensitive soul.” There was something about just saying that that broke me open. She is a sweet, sensitive soul.

This incredibly subtle shift in how I hold her in my mind has rippled into how I think and feel about her when she’s struggling. To call her grumpy was joking, yes, but also dismissive, and it made me feel less accepting of her sadness. To call her a sensitive soul makes me feel more gentle and loving towards her. It helps me remember her true nature.

I have to admit, this caught me off guard. I often use humor to help myself manage challenges, but I didn’t recognize that this humor was framing my kiddo in a light that was not serving either of us.

I invite you to check out the language you use with and about your babe. Sometimes, humor is the way to go. Sometimes, we need to add a little honey to sweeten up the experience.