Day 81: Retreat

This one might be more of a seed than an immediately actionable idea, but meditation retreats have been some of the most profound experiences in my life. I have heard Amy Saltzman, a meditation teacher, talk about the length of time you spend practicing as akin to writing a paper. Spend five minutes a day meditating, and you get the understanding of composing a paragraph response. But spend multiple days in a row in an intense pressure cooker of yourself, and gain insights into nuance of your own being that you might find writing only in your graduate thesis.

As your first twelve weeks start to come to a close, there is now the opportunity to come back to you. You may have some logistical freedom, like a stash of milk in the freezer, and some brain space as you come back online. If there is a place near you where you can do even a single day retreat, this is an amazing way to begin exploring a more intensive practice. If now is not the time, start considering a retreat within the next year. In the meantime, you could find a park nearby and dedicate a few hours there to quiet practice and reflection.

The process of self study should not be eclipsed by motherhood. Not only for ourselves, but for our babies. We become better mothers the more we understand our own idiosyncrasies, our own brand of humanness.

I am not going on retreat this 82nd day after the birth of my baby, but I am starting to plan when I will go. Because I want to write that thesis, and I want to be able to share it with my daughter.